The dilemma February 16, 2008

On the one hand

• I’ve been dreaming about and planning to attend an art atelier for over 2 years now.
• I will scream if I have to continue my day job in which I do not feel that I am satisfying a needed sense of purpose.
• This is an important step in my long term dream of working and teaching out of my own private studio. 
• I want to follow my heart. 

On the other hand

• I may not be accepted into an art atelier this fall.
• I worry about financial security and don’t think the numbers are going to work out very well if I stop working.
• I don’t want to be in debt. 
• I want to continue to be able to live life with the extras (gym, organic farm share, concerts, trips…).
• I am afraid that even if I invest in becoming a better artist/teacher, I will still not be good enough to have a financially viable career.
• If I leave IBM now I am missing out on a well-paying career path with an established company.
• If I leave IBM now I am shutting the door to a secure job in an uncertain future.
• I am good at my day job (and have been getting positive feedback from important people). 
• I am used to sacrificing my dreams for practical and material reasons.

For now: I will apply to the art atelier. At least I will have a decision to make later if I am accepted. If I am not accepted, the decision is made for me.

D.I.Y. getaway February 4, 2008

Take one good friend whose boyfriend’s brownstone basement apartment in Park Slopes, Brooklyn is available for use over the weekend while he is travelling. Ride to NY in comfort of friend’s Subaru Outback, park, and immediately proceed to take subway to 8th street station. Walk to Turkish and Russian baths (established in 1892!) on 10th Avenue and sweat it out for three hours. Eat a healthy dinner of kale and 3 layered cassarole (sweet potato, black beans, polenta in mushroom gravy) at The Organic Grill. Proceed back to bathhouse where across the street a Chinese salon offers 60 minute massages for $45. Return to Brooklyn (very relaxed and glowing) to end evening with decadent flourless chocolate cake and french pressed decaf organic coffee at the CocoaBar. Turn in for the night. Wake up the next morning, take subway back into Manhattan. Intend to go to yoga class but find out the class meets later. Shop around instead and see interesting shops (especially Evolution which boasts bones, bugs, anatomical models, fossils, and other fancy stuff). Meet with friend’s friend for brunch and coffee. Friend points out place to find singing bowl at Do Kham. Find perfect singing bowl to bring home. Pick up gourmet delights at Kee’s Chocolates. Return to Golden Bridge for Kundalini Yoga class. Feel great after an hour of breath work. Shop around some more. See fun places like Pearl River Market. Return to Brooklyn. Eat another healthy vegan meal at the V-spot where the chicken burrito is delicious (and the soy? chicken would fool any carnivore). Walk back to brownstone apartment. After minor lockout, gain access with emergency set of keys. Pack up and head back home content and happy (but loathe to face the coming workweek). Promise self to experience more weekends like this one.

February weigh in February 2, 2008

• Weight: 133 lbs.
• Body fat: 28%

Trainer workout #1:

• 30 minutes elliptical
• 4 sets of below cycle:
• 10 reps lunges on each leg holding 5 lb. weights
• 10 reps each leg step up, knee up and shoulder press with 5 lb. weights
• 5 push ups touch hand to opposite hand
• 15 crunches on ball reaching up with 8 lb. medicine ball
• 5 each side stand on one leg on balancer and touch standing foot with opposite hand

Trainer workout #2:

• 45 minutes cardio
• 3 sets 10 reps of below:
• bicep curl and shoulder raise with bands
• bicep curl and and shoulder raise with free weights (10, 8 lbs)
• tricep with free weights (5 lbs)tricep with bar (20, 15 lbs)